Buried Underneath a Pile of Turnips

It’s like I was taking a drive along a winding mountain road on a clear skied, sunny day, the ocean to my left, top down on my convertible. I was smiling, laughing, singing to the song of the moment (singing beautifully, of course). Maybe I was even wearing a floppy hat. Why not?

Then I rounded a corner and found myself behind a turnip truck. I thought Oh, what a cute, little turnip truck, with it’s cute wooden trailer. And such pretty colors, too. And I blissfully followed the turnip truck down the road, focused on its simple attraction, the day’s perfect temperature, and the sun dancing through the trees.

Until a turnip fell out of the trailer and the cute, little turnip truck slammed on its brakes. Unfortunately, I couldn’t brake in time. In slow motion, I saw the wooden trailer grow larger and larger as my convertible skidded closer and closer. Unable to to veer right or left, I smashed directly into the back of the trailer and found myself buried under a pile of turnips.

At first I was stunned, but once I gathered myself I thought it would be no problem to climb out. Turnips aren’t heavy, their tiny little things. No problem. One by one, I tried to pick my way out from underneath the pile of turnips, but as I pushed each aside, another would bonk me on my head. Obnoxious little devils.

It took several thuds to my noggin, but finally, I realized I wasn’t going to pick my way out of the pile on my own. The driver wasn’t going to help me. He was too concerned with the turnip that got away, his truck, his remaining turnips, and scolding me (loudly) for everything I did wrong. Which really was everything.  From driving a car to breathing – everything. For a second, I thought about staying under the pile of turnips, they were muffling his rants, after all.

But then I thought, that’s no way to live life, hiding underneath a pile of turnips, and they were starting to smell. So I concentrated real hard and like magic, an S.O.S. sign appeared in my hand. I forced that sign through the turnips until it appeared at the top of the pile. Surely someone would help me climb out. Surely this day could have a happy ending. It started out so well, didn’t it?

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